Her sentence:
It was time to get out.
by Catherine O'Flynn in What Was Lost
This simple sentence mirrors the simplicity of the character's decision, she had decided and that was what she was going to do.
My sentence:
It was time to quit.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sentence 11
His sentence:
In the towns, on the edges of the towns, in field, in vacant lots, the used-car yards, the wreckers' yards, the garages with blazoned signs- Used Cars, Good Used Cars.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
This rhetorical fragment takes the reader through a vivid description and describes the scene and the chaos in one sentence.
My sentence:
In the corners, on the floor of the room, in the hamper, on any surface, the papers, the clutter, the laundry with a oder- sweat, old sweat.
In the towns, on the edges of the towns, in field, in vacant lots, the used-car yards, the wreckers' yards, the garages with blazoned signs- Used Cars, Good Used Cars.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
This rhetorical fragment takes the reader through a vivid description and describes the scene and the chaos in one sentence.
My sentence:
In the corners, on the floor of the room, in the hamper, on any surface, the papers, the clutter, the laundry with a oder- sweat, old sweat.
Sentence 10
His sentence:
The watchman laughed.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence is striking after all the complex and compoud sentences before it, showing that these people in this place is different. There was no double meaning in his laughter.
My Sentence:
The woman smiled.
The watchman laughed.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence is striking after all the complex and compoud sentences before it, showing that these people in this place is different. There was no double meaning in his laughter.
My Sentence:
The woman smiled.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sentence 9
His sentence:
When there was work for a man, the men fought for it- fought with a low wage.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
This complex sentence uses a dash to catch the attention of the reader to draw attention to the fact that the men were not fighting each other but fighting against a descending wage.
My sentence:
When there was candy for a child, the children fought for it- fought with a unfair distributor.
When there was work for a man, the men fought for it- fought with a low wage.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
This complex sentence uses a dash to catch the attention of the reader to draw attention to the fact that the men were not fighting each other but fighting against a descending wage.
My sentence:
When there was candy for a child, the children fought for it- fought with a unfair distributor.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sentence 8
His sentence:
And there's the end.
by John Stienbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence runs home the point, the simple fact that that's the way it is and there is no other option.
My sentence:
And that's the way it is.
And there's the end.
by John Stienbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence runs home the point, the simple fact that that's the way it is and there is no other option.
My sentence:
And that's the way it is.
Sentence 7
His sentence:
And then the dispossessed were drawn west- from Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico; from Nevada and Arkansas families, tribes, dusted out, tractored out.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
The list separated by a hyphen goes into deeper detail to show the wide range and the number of people effected.
My sentence:
And then the bugs were drawn to the light- from the yard, the pond, the corners; from skinny to fat misquitoes, nats, rammed the light, swarmed the light.
And then the dispossessed were drawn west- from Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico; from Nevada and Arkansas families, tribes, dusted out, tractored out.
by John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
The list separated by a hyphen goes into deeper detail to show the wide range and the number of people effected.
My sentence:
And then the bugs were drawn to the light- from the yard, the pond, the corners; from skinny to fat misquitoes, nats, rammed the light, swarmed the light.
Sentence 6
His sentence:
A man might work and feed himself; and when the work was done, he might find that he owed money to the company.
by John Steinbeck in Grapes of Wrath
A complex sentence that tells a short story in sequence and the structure contrasts working but owing money.
My sentence:
The children might laugh and play; and when they come back inside, they find that they have more energy than when they left.
A man might work and feed himself; and when the work was done, he might find that he owed money to the company.
by John Steinbeck in Grapes of Wrath
A complex sentence that tells a short story in sequence and the structure contrasts working but owing money.
My sentence:
The children might laugh and play; and when they come back inside, they find that they have more energy than when they left.
Sentence 5
His sentence:
And it came about that owners no longer worked on their farms.
Improper sentence starting with 'and' to show sequence and effect.
My sentence:
And it turned out that teachers no longer took grades on their homework.
And it came about that owners no longer worked on their farms.
Improper sentence starting with 'and' to show sequence and effect.
My sentence:
And it turned out that teachers no longer took grades on their homework.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sentence 4
His sentence:
Carloads, caravans, homeless and hungry; twenty thousand and fifty thousand and a hundred thousand and two hundred thousand.
Repetition of thousand joined by conjunction emphasises the magnitude of the sheer mass of desperate people.
My senetence:
Singualy, alone, stranded and helpless; no one and just one and any one and only one.
Carloads, caravans, homeless and hungry; twenty thousand and fifty thousand and a hundred thousand and two hundred thousand.
Repetition of thousand joined by conjunction emphasises the magnitude of the sheer mass of desperate people.
My senetence:
Singualy, alone, stranded and helpless; no one and just one and any one and only one.
Sentence 3
His sentence:
They had nothing.
by John Steinbeck in Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence shows the simplicity of their poverty. They truely had nothing, no "and" or "but" about it.
My sentence:
It was over.
They had nothing.
by John Steinbeck in Grapes of Wrath
Simple sentence shows the simplicity of their poverty. They truely had nothing, no "and" or "but" about it.
My sentence:
It was over.
Sentence 2
His sentence:
"Our people are good people; our people are kind people. "
by John Steinbeck
"Our people are good people; our people are kind people. "
by John Steinbeck
A sentence containing two balanced phrases emphasises these select group of people are different than those around them.
My sentence:
This girl is a wonderful girl; this girl is a compassionate girl.
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