Independence vs. Happiness

According to the article Happy Hunting by Rebecca Mead, 30% of women don't intend to be married in five years to the man they're married to now. As divorce rates reach all time highs and it is almost more common to come from a broken home than not and women's depression rates rise, you have to question why. Mead thinks the reason is financial independence, that as women's statues in society rises, their happiness sinks. In my opinion this mass dampening of spirit is not from independence but from the basis of their happiness and the foundation for their relationships.

Let me paint for you the picture of the lives of women in the olden days... women were raised in their close knit families (with divorce rates low, most with a father and a mother under the same roof) and learned how to sew and cook, take care of younger siblings and their family; they didn't spend their time studying literature, but the arts, drawing, music. They grew into mothers that kept the house in order and raised their daughters into suitable brides, and, while the father was ultimately in charge of decisions and budgets, being a source for second opinions and support. Their role in the family was crucial and they were to be precisely in tune with each individual of the family and their needs.

Now let me zap you back to present day, where daughters wake up to alarm clocks (not a motherly or sisterly voice) and spend their day in school (away from home) preparing for their future. When they get out of school they find a job and start their lives, and maybe look around for a spouse. If they find one they can marry them with the reassurance that they can undo their vows and keep their money, maybe even get some of his if they play their cards right. Then if they have kids, she can put them in daycare and not miss more than one year at work.

As women's roles in society have gone up and a majority of family budgeters are women, they have become a market target, so their complaints are not only being heard but listened for. Also, women have the choice of divorce since they no longer have to rely on their husband's source of income, turning relationships from financial dependence to... what?

When women are independent they don't NEED men to ensure they will have a roof over their heads, so what are they looking for in relationships? Maybe it's emotional support... And in a world that turns at the speed of light, it's hard to find someone to really listen to you.

Then there's the need for money, the drive of your day, the reason you skip family dinner... Wait! What was that? Turning in quality family time for a little bit more money? Of course that isn't the case in every family, but see how many you can name.

In the modern world that's caught up in material need and neglecting those around you, it's no wonder women are unhappy now! But it's not because their independent... If they'd just turn their treasure hunting upward and look at the faces around them, they would know happiness.